Wish I were a Dog

Have you ever been called a "dog"?

If you are like any normal person, you probably have, right?

Here in the USA the term which starts with b*** means a female dog and it is used derogatively. Unless of course you are using it in the "double negative" figure of speech which means it is a appreciative word. Like when you say "Payback's a b****". Here, the b word is used to mean something good. Or like when you say, "that car is so phat"....you dont mean fat as in bad. But you mean "phat" as in good.

Reminds me of a friend of mine who when he was called a "b***h", turned around and said, "incorrect english, wrong gender, I am a man so please call me dog instead".

And of course in countires like India, "dog" has always been used in a derogative way. Like "nhaai" in Tamil (any Chennaite worth his salt would attest to having used this word or having been called it at some point in his life). Or if you are from the northern part of India, you probably have sat through a movie or four, where the hero calls the villain "kuttheyyy kamineeey...".

Anyway I digress.

But the next time you get called a dog, maybe its a good thing. Coz, theres never been a better time in the history of the world than now, to be a dog.

Ask "Trouble". She is Leona Helmsley's dog and her net worth is around 12 million dollars. The only way I will ever own that much money is if I win the New York Mega Millions jackpot (which is a 1 in 180 million odds, so I aint holding my breath).

You might say - Oh but thats just one of the few lucky dogs. And you would be wrong. Helmsley has also left a major part of her 20 billion dollar estate to the care of dogs around the world. If you were a dog, how much would you need to keep you happy? A bone here, a cat or rabbit there, a mailman once in a while to chase, a daily evening walk to look at the ladies (ahem...the b***hes), and a good lamp-post to pee on - and thats it - you are probably a happy camper. What in the world do you need a billion dollars for?

And this is a good time to be a dog even if you were in a dog-eating third world country such as China. China has officially banned all dog meats and taken dog related items off the dinner table at restaurants. They have done this in order to not offend Western tourists who would be thronging their country to see the Olympics 2008. Wow! It is true that every dog indeed does have its day!

Now, dont you agree - the next time someone calls you a "nhaai" or a "b***h" you can turn around and say, "well, so kind of you sir, thank you and wish you the same!".